Super 26 Faces Shortage of Fierce, Noble Animals
February 2006
The Northwest Province Giraffes are concerned their mascot may not strike sufficient fear into the opposition.
sydney - The start of the Super 26 is still a year away, but the expanded Pacific Rim rugby competition is already experiencing difficulties. With most acceptably fierce, noble animals already used as mascots by existing franchises or other sports teams, new Super 26 oufits are facing a critical shortage of dashing and ferocious-sounding names.
Like all teams, the sixth South African franchise was eager to choose a name that would be both inspirational and emblematic of their region. But with lions, leopards, cheetahs, springboks, bulls, sharks and even the non species-specific "cats" already taken, the African animal kingdom had to be scoured before the Northwest Province Giraffes eventually settled on their moniker.
The team was originally to be known as the Hippos, but this was rejected after being vetoed by what Giraffes coach Jake Strauss called "oversensitive" front-row forwards.
"The hippopotamus is a fierce animal", said Strauss. "Not many people know that hippos kill more people every year than lions, leopards and elephants put together. But for some reason, (prop forwards) Jannie van Brinckelhorst and Morne du Pries thought it would damage their sex appeal".
Elephants, wildebeest and hyenas were likewise rejected due to a range of perceived image problems. But even the final compromise option did not satisfy everyone.
Loose forward Kwame Jacobs doubted that the team identity would strike fear into the heart of the oppostion. "It's like, ooh, I'm a giraffe", he said, making prancing motions.
In Australia, there was less soul-searching. Forced to settle for just four additional teams in next year's competition instead of the eight they had initially demanded, the Australian Rugby Union took a pragmatic approach. In a land well stocked with dangerous, but not particularly prepossessing creatures, there were plenty of choices for team identities once all aesthetic requirements were ditched.
After brief deliberation by the union board, it was agreed that the Northern Territory Crocs and the West Queensland Goannas would join the South Australia Dingos and the Melbourne Mongrels in next year's Super 26.
"No one said we had to be pretty", said new Mongrels signing Matt Henjak.
In the scramble for the remaining fierce animal names, the South American teams were expected to do best. However, with the Argentinians having first dibs, the naming of the Buenos Aires Pumas and the Rosario Jaguars left the Uruguay-based franchise with a paucity of options.
Nevertheless, the captain of the Montevideo Ponies was not impressed by the chortles when he appeared at the press conference to present the franchise to the world.
"You don't understand!" he said, thumping the table. "In Uruguay culture, the pony, he is an animal salvaje"
Also limiting team name options was the fact that most bold but non racially-specific colours are already in use. None of the new franchises showed much enthusisam for being known as the Greens, Purples or Greys. A surprise success story was the inaugural North American outift in the competition, which happily accepted the title of the California Oranges. "The name's great, dude. I can't believe no one else wanted it" said team coach Mike Williams, speaking from San Francisco.
Areas less well-blessed with fierce animals have often looked to extreme weather events for their emblems. But with the Western Samoa Cyclones nabbing the last climatic event with a real ring to it, other island nations found themselves with limited choices for their new Super 26 franchises.
Lock Inoke Afeaki didn't sound that thrilled to be named captain of an outfit called the Tonga Tropical Downpours. "We sound more like a cocktail than a rugby team", he lamented.
There were also struggles in the quest to create an identity for New Zealand's fourth North Island-based franchise. New Zealand teams have traditionally preferred to take on generic or historical tribal identities, but all the obvious ones are already in use.
Having rejected the Huns, Mongols, Visigoths, and a range of obscure tribes of marauding Central Asian horsemen as possible mascots, the new Palmerston North-based franchise eventually decided to go with a more contemporary flavour. The Mid-Central Bogans will be looking for some turbocharged performances in 2007.
Amidst all the angst surrounding the selection of team names, only one of the new regions was left untroubled in its search for appropriate macots. Japanese rugby union president Yoshiro Mori said that Japan would have "no problems" in providing inspirational names for its first entry in the competition, or any future ones for that matter.
"New Zealand might have got to host the 2011 World Cup", he said tetchily. "But we have an almost unlimited supply of animated action heros and comic-book monsters. The Osaka Godzillas will be ready to take on all comers in 2007".